Monday, 8 August 2011

Blog Rewrite: Being More Objective


I would like you to choose three statements you have made from any of the discussions and re-write them to be more objective.

Rules:

  • You must choose YOUR OWN sentence.
  • You must make it objective. USE your class notes to help you
  • You can comment on or correct any other sentence posted here if you think it is still not objective
You must do this before Wednesday's class. 

16 comments:

  1. (Murder is bad for society)

    Murder breaks social norms in most societies

    ReplyDelete
  2. 1.(The government is right to introduce a ban on smoking in public.)

    The government has the power to establish a ban on smoking in public.

    2.(I think I can hardwork make me qualified for this work.)

    I believe that my hardworking make me qualified for this work.

    3.(Everywhere between each other when the shopping and keep with the smile.)

    People often smile even when they go out shopping.

    ReplyDelete
  3. 1.If someone break the law, they should be punished.

    There are many punishments to deal with different criminals.

    2.Each job should have a suitable person to do it.

    Each job mached a suitable person to do it.

    3.Company should obey the rule which made by government.

    The rules which made by government followed by companies.

    ReplyDelete
  4. 1.I think every job is equal for men and women, they all have right to get jobs.
    Men and women have equal rights to get job base on law.

    2.In some dangerous jobs, you can find that the number of men is much bigger than women,
    The number of men in some dangerous job is large than women’s,

    3.privacy must be protected on the internet.
    It is necessary to protect privacy on the internet.

    4.I think children use less social net working is better.
    There are some researches indicate that social net working bring negative affects to children.

    ReplyDelete
  5. 1.(But sometimes those criminals are probably poor and had a difficult childhood.)
    As for a difficult childhood some criminals are poor.
    2.(Sometimes, it is depends on the case, if there is a serial killer, then there is no doubt at all then yes.)
    The serial killer should be given the penalty.
    3.(The vast majority of murders are unpremeditated domestic violence or a fight outside a pub or something like that where tempers flare.)
    The vast majority of murders are due to some Emergencies.

    ReplyDelete
  6. 1.We should grasp a language that most people can understand.
    Language is a tool for people to communicate, and the aim of languge communication is to make people understand each other,as the world is connecting firmly, using a kind of language can help people understand quickly.
    2.The government is responsible to protect public's privacy on Internet.
    Government is an authority department to make policies and ensure public's safety and legal rights. Public have rights to keep privacy on internet.
    3.There shouldn't be different in how men and women are paid.
    every person has equal rights to get legal payment.Even though men or women do different jobs, when they are paid, they have rights to be paid legally and possess the laws protection.

    ReplyDelete
  7. 1. (Young children learn English as a second language is very necessary after to learn better with the local language.)

    Young children should learn English as a second language, but it is necessary to learn it after the local language.

    2.( The financial crisis is not have good affection for the world economy.)

    The world economy have serious damage from the financial crisis.

    3.( We need to protect the environment if have some pollution into the environment.)

    We should protect the environment is not destroyed.

    ReplyDelete
  8. 1. The young people have their rights to study at school.

    2. Women can do some jobs which men did. They could also do much better than men.

    3. The UK Riots happened not only due to the gun kill, but also due to the policy mistakes.

    ReplyDelete
  9. This is still not objective!
    Margaret:
    2.(I think I can hardwork make me qualified for this work.)

    (I believe )that my hardworking make me qualified for this work.

    Vivian(But sometimes those criminals are probably poor and had a difficult childhood.)
    As for a difficult childhood some criminals are poor.

    Karl
    (Young children learn English as a second language is very necessary after to learn better with the local language.)

    Young children should learn English as a second language, but it is necessary to learn it after the local language.

    3.( We need to protect the environment if have some pollution into the environment.)

    We should protect the environment is not destroyed.

    ReplyDelete
  10. (I think I can hardwork make me qualified for this work.)

    Hardworking makes people qualified for the work.

    ReplyDelete
  11. (I do not think all murderers should be executed.)

    Murderers can be fairly punished by the law in different ways.



    (I also believe that death penalty is needed in the law to decrease the criminal rate.)

    It is believed that the criminal rate might decrease by carrying out the death penalty in the law.
    FOR TINA


    (I agree that government should be responsible to us for protecting our privacy on the Internet on some extent.)

    It is necessary that government protects our privacy on the Internet on some extent.

    ReplyDelete
  12. (Young children learn English as a second language is very necessary after to learn better with the local language.)

    Young children learn English as a second language, but it is to learn it after the local language.

    3.( We need to protect the environment if have some pollution into the environment.)

    We protect the environment is not destroyed.

    ReplyDelete
  13. 1.(The public library should be replaced by computers.)

    The computers will instead the public library.

    2.(Government should decide what students study in university.)

    Government has the power to resolve what the university subjects.

    3.(Children should be obey the rules or do what their parents and teachers want their to do.)

    Children do something what their parents and teachers told their to do.

    ReplyDelete
  14. 1.(Do you think that the positive role of advertising is greater than the negative part of advertising)
    the advertising advantages better than disadvantage.
    2.(The world of work is changing rapidly so people cannot always depend on one job)
    People can't depend on the same work.
    3.(Individuals cannot improve environment. Only government and big companies can make a difference)
    just government can make change the environment.

    ReplyDelete
  15. 1. (The prisoner is carried out the death penalty that is immoral.)
    Many countries give up carrying out the executions for the prisoner.
    2. (If the company leaks customer’s privacy, it should be punished.)
    It is illegal, which is the company disclose the customer’s privacy.
    3. (I think women also can go out to work.)
    The women and men have the same rights to work.

    ReplyDelete
  16. 1.(The result of capital punishment will be completely the opposite to your imagination.)

    Capital punishment will lead to a negative result.

    2.(I believe the capital pulishment is not fair and just because nobody can be killed by any other one even if it is the law.)

    The capital pulishment is deemed to be not fair and just because nobody can be killed by any other one even if it is the law.

    3.(I still insist the opinion that execution should be abolished.)

    Execution has been thought that should be abolished by most countries in the world.

    ReplyDelete

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